We are all impacted by our relationship to whiteness because of the societal soup we all live in, to say it lightly. The most recent election exemplifies this and, to me, exemplifies the blindspots white women, specifically, have. I’ve spoken about this a lot before because I believe in the power of uncovering and facing our blindspots. We all have them and they control our subconscious until we are willing to truly see them. We need help seeing them, because they are literally our blind-spot. I have been fortunate enough to have some incredible teachers show me my blindspots - coaches and leaders in the field, but also there was a woman with developmental disabilities that I worked with for 10 years, the foster youth who schooled me when I was supposed to be teaching them, the countless innocent wisdom of kids calling me out for my incongruence, the professors of color who took a chance on educating me at a cost to them, the friends of color, the trans friends, and my LGBTQAI+ and POC elders. I am still learning. I still make mistakes.
To White Women: we have some work to do together and it starts with exposing our blindspots. Whether you voted for trump, are hiding you voted for trump, would never have voted for trump, or didn’t vote at all, white women were the demographic that pulled the support for trump over the finish line into first place. And no matter what group you belong to above, we all have a part in it. It is our shared blindspots that got us here. Our biggest responsibility as white women is to be accountable to what we don’t yet see and understand or learn how to handle it so that the privileges we have doesn’t cause harm to someone else, especially accidentally.
We need to learn to build structures of belonging. We need to invite everyone and all parts in. We need to stop turning on one another but rather start finding the way back to each other.
I don’t have all the answers, but I have a good starting point: Curiosity. Talk with white people who have already been taught by marginalized populations to see their blindspots.
I have been the woman accidentally reinforcing the patriarchy by maintaining the lies of abusers.
I have been the white woman who has participated in microagressions on people of color because of my blindspot to my privilege.
I have been the person who hadn’t fully stepped into who I am and harmed people because they represented a part of me I wasn’t ready to be, specifically around my queerness.
I have no desire to preach or make you feel wrong. We are all always learning. And…what we are not changing we are choosing, consciously and subconsciously. I can help you expose more blindspots. Reach out.