Change is the one thing that we can depend on. It is always happening whether we choose it or not. But, how do we create change where we want it? And, how do we adapt to the change that is out of our control?
By the end of January, many of us lose steam in creating the change we committed to wanting at the start of the year. But, we can start or restart at any point. There are ways to structure intentional change. We often hear that we are a sum of our habits. Thinking about our habits can help us make change more bite-sized and integrate it into our lives for a more long term, sustainable shift.
Think about the change you want. What habit shift could bring you closer to this change? There might be more than one habit, but choose one habit to shift. Then, examine the habit. One of the best ways to shift a habit is to break it down. Make sure to think about how this habit serves you, and what is the reward you get for this habit (even if you think of it as a bad or naughty habit)? Next, interfere or disrupt the habit by trying something new or responding in a novel way. Then, think about what you could replace this habit with for a similar or equal reward. Now, make the new way a new habit by repeating it. This way it becomes a new neuro-pathway in your brain, or habitual, by repeating the disruption and the new habit as often or even more often than the old habit. Maintain this new habit for 21 days and you have changed your brain, by offering it a new way or pathway.
We can do something similar when it is change outside of our control. When something happens to us, we adapt to it. And, we often adapt in the ways our youngest self learned to adapt to change. We can feel powerless or scared of the uncertainty ahead. How we adapt to circumstances that happen to us can be essential and therefore helpful for a short period of time. The challenge is that sometimes the way we adapt can also become unhelpful, especially in the long term. This is when we need to get curious. How did you cope with the change and what habits formed? Were they familiar habits or new habits? Then, we can make a choice.
Think about what caused you to adapt, consciously or not, in the way you did. Maybe it was to regain control or give you a sense of safety. Then, think about if this habit is still supporting you or if it is how you want to keep living. Make a choice to keep the habit or not. Lastly, create a new intention from how you want to move forward. How do you want to feel or be? Maybe, you want to honor yourself or others more, or surrender earlier to change, versus fighting it.
Intentions can serve as a filter for how to dance with change in the future. They give you a way to determine which habits needs updating or where a new choice needs to be made, based on what feels in integrity to you and your community.
What do you want to change, or how will you dance with what is changing you? What community do you have to support the change you want to create?