My car was nearly stolen with just a screw driver through the passenger side door’s key hole. After the second time it happened, a mechanic told me that there was nothing I could do. When he saw a look of desperation in my eyes, he explained that many vehicles have quirks that make them especially vulnerable to theft. He continued to tell me that any thief “worth their salt” knows you can steal this vehicle with just a screw driver. When the look of fear grew in my eyes, he tried to comfort me by telling me that most vehicles have something like this. Needless to say, his words did not comfort me. I left the conversation feeling extra vulnerable and questioning how to protect a vehicle that can be so easily stolen.
I started to use a club on the steering wheel, as an extra precaution. I paid a lot of attention to where I parked it. I started moving it regularly from area to area in hopes no one would target it. I got strategic and it quickly turned into hypervigilance, keeping me on high alert for potential danger and threat. It took a lot of focus, energy and time to helicopter around the vehicle to prevent from all the “what ifs”.
One morning, I was walking to go to an appointment. In my hypervigilance, I thought I would walk by to make sure all was safe and sound around where I parked. As I approached my car, there was a man who appeared to be looking in the passenger side window. He scurried away as soon as I walked up. All of my senses heightened and I looked around for where he went, instantly deducing he must be casing the vehicle to steal it with a screw driver.
My mind started to race with scenarios, but I continued to walk to my meeting, until I couldn’t take it any longer. I looped back around the block to walk back to where my car was parked, even though I knew it would make me late for my meeting. When I approached again, still more than 50 yards away, the same man was looking in the passenger window of a smaller car just behind mine. I decided to catch him in the act as I watched him move to the passenger window of my car again. I was not totally clear on what I would do when I caught him, but I was headed straight to him with determination to save my car from getting stolen by him.
When I got there, he was using the big side view mirrors to shave. It was obvious that he could see more of the contours of his face because my rearview was larger than the car’s mirror behind mine. I was too close to turn around, so after startling him with my stare, I smiled at him and kept walking.
I had tunnel vision, causing misperception, assumptions, fears and subsequent hypervigilance. This man was just caring for his basic needs and I was happy to allow him to use my windows as a shared resource. It gave me pause to think about the assumptions I made and how quick I was to assume the worst.
My invitation for myself and all of you…when we have tunnel vision and the accompanied fears, hypervigilance and assumptions. Slow down. Get present. Find more perspectives - new ways of looking at a scenario. Take the actions you can to take exquisite care of yourself and those around you in the moment, instead of draining yourself with the “what ifs”.